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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28096953">Ashes of White</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thrasirshall/pseuds/Thrasirshall'>Thrasirshall</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, Post-Advent Children (Compilation of FFVII), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Tseng is Not Okay</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:54:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,350</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28096953</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thrasirshall/pseuds/Thrasirshall</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>For Day 2 of #Shinraholiday2020! </p><p>Rufus is still alive and recovering, but for Tseng - some things take longer to heal from.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rufus Shinra/Tseng</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Shinra Holiday 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Ashes of White</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Prompt Day 2: Let it Snow. </p><p> </p><p>It was hard to believe spring hadn't been that long ago - but then, plenty had kept Rufus and his Turks busy. </p><p>The Meteor Monument had been rebuilt, arguably even faster than before - and with a new addendum: a long wall of names of those the healing rain had not saved. </p><p>Despite best efforts of finding a Census list from the ShinRa ID archives - many names were still missing. </p><p>Nonetheless, it felt like a small, if bittersweet victory when another name could be inscribed, another person who wouldn't be lost forever. </p><p>It was hard to believe that it had been merely months ago when all that could've been left of Rufus was his own name on stone. </p><p> </p><p>"Tseng." </p><p> </p><p>The Turk snapped out of his thoughts at the sound of the person occupying them, turning to look at him. </p><p>"I don't believe it, look."</p><p>Tseng's eyes followed where Rufus was pointing and it took him a moment to realise the barely visible white dust settling on the tree branches outside Healen. </p><p>"When was the last time we saw snow?" Rufus huffed a laugh, "No wonder it felt so cold lately."</p><p>Silent, Tseng glanced up at the greying sky in concern.</p><p>Snow didn't exactly bring back happy memories for Tseng - or Elena for that matter. </p><p>The air was crisp, fresh in such a way that Tseng hadn't felt or even smelled before. </p><p>Unlike the Northern Crater and it's ashy, dark snow - the snow that was now building quickly on the trees and rocks was pure white. </p><p>Rufus reached forward to scrape snow across the banister into his fingers, mushing the white softness between them and revelling in the cold he used to absolutely hate. </p><p>Now it was a gift to be able to feel everything again. </p><p>Then two half-gloved hands clasped his, brushing the reddened fingers, already ice cold. </p><p>Rufus' hands still felt too thin for Tseng's liking. </p><p>Regardless of his health slowly but steadily improving since that fateful day, Tseng then moved to take the handles of Rufus' wheelchair. </p><p> </p><p>"We should probably go inside." </p><p> </p><p>Rufus tilted his head up to give Tseng a look, a knowing smile creeping at the edges of his lips. </p><p>He knew better than to tell Tseng not to worry. </p><p> </p><p>◇</p><p> </p><p>Sure enough, the next morning had all of Healen and Edge in a thick blanket of snow. </p><p>Rufus wheeled himself over to the window, eyebrows raised at the frost patterned across the panes. </p><p>Tseng noticeably avoided the window as they'd dressed that morning, before he spotted Rufus drawing on the glass with a finger while making coffee. </p><p>Sure enough, what looked like a very round Dark Nation was now on the glass, making a long curly line that was meant to be her tentacle wagging. </p><p> </p><p>"Hm. Never was very good at art." Rufus mused a moment later, before deciding to top off the drawing with a little bone. </p><p>Tseng huffed a laugh, walking towards Rufus with their coffee - but once again turned away from the window. </p><p>Rufus, holding the mug in both hands took a sip, watching Tseng's back. </p><p>Knowing one another as intimately as they did, Rufus could tell just from the stiffer than usual posture that something was wrong. </p><p>Rufus remembered the dried blood on Elena and Tseng's now useless ID cards, a hatred colder than ice pool within him at the alien entity that had stood mockingly before him. </p><p>Tseng barely talked about what had happened, but Rufus could see enough of what it had done to both him and Elena. </p><p>Sometimes he was even afraid to ask. </p><p> </p><p>"It still bothers you." Rufus said softly after a long moment of silence. </p><p>He wasn't the only one who had moments of panic, of a sudden memory seizing his limbs and shutting his mind down for what feels like forever, but was only a few seconds. </p><p>Tseng just barely moved, but Rufus could see it in his mind's eye: the disturbed expression across the Turk's face. </p><p> </p><p>"Yes. It does."</p><p> </p><p>It was barely audible, but Tseng had said it. That was all Rufus could ask for. </p><p>It still had only been a few months. </p><p>Rufus set his coffee on the bedside locker, before wheeling over and reaching to take Tseng's hand - now a clenched, white knuckled fist, with both his own. </p><p>The other held his coffee mug with a death grip. </p><p> </p><p>"We could close the curtains." Rufus suggested, voice still soft, "Stay indoors."</p><p>It was a long moment before he felt Tseng's fist loosen slowly, before calloused fingers finally curled around thinner ones. </p><p>It was another minute before Tseng took a breath. </p><p>"I'd like to see it." Tseng said in an exhale, looking down at Rufus, "Edge must look beautiful."</p><p>Rufus' thumb stroked his hand gently before speaking. </p><p> </p><p>"If you're sure."</p><p> </p><p>Wearing one of Tseng's spare sweaters under his own thickest coat, and a scarf covering almost half his face, Rufus was almost giddy with excitement as he walked out to the balcony, gloved hand clutching his cane tightly, boots crunching the snow underneath. </p><p>"Not so fast." Tseng called from inside, and Rufus slowed a little with a grin. </p><p>He inhaled the frosty air before blowing out a plume of breath, grinning as it disappeared slowly. </p><p>Healen was <em> white </em>- from the now covered greenhouse to the little pond, what had become their home was now a winter wonderland Rufus believed he'd dreamt up as a child.</p><p>He could only imagine what Edge must look like right now. The Monument. </p><p>Their city.</p><p>He glanced back at the still open door at Tseng, of whom was far on the other side of the room, watching from the hallway. </p><p>He was also dressed for outside in a coat and gloves, but hovered. </p><p>The shadows of the living room kept him half-hidden from Rufus' sight. </p><p>Rufus straightened up, both hands on the cane as he stood at the balcony. </p><p> </p><p>"My mother used to keep snow globes." he said, loud enough for Tseng to hear, "You could only ever get them made in Icicle, and they cost a small fortune in Midgar."</p><p>Tseng could only make a noise of amusement, forehead against the doorframe. </p><p> </p><p>He felt weak in the knees. </p><p> </p><p>Snow would fall on Midgar the rare time, yes - but the reactors never let it stay. </p><p>It was almost a myth that snow even existed to anyone born on the Plates - but when it came. </p><p>Rufus shook his head a little, lifting it to admire the brilliant white of the sky, "You really couldn't compare."</p><p> </p><p>Tseng lifted his head, realising he was gripping the doorframe hard enough to hear the chipboard crack, before looking over at Rufus. </p><p>Rufus pretended not to notice - a grey silhouette in the doorway looking up at the endless sea of white outside. </p><p> </p><p>He looked beautiful. </p><p> </p><p>Somehow Tseng's breathing evened out - feeling the weight lift slowly from his limbs, the tightness in his chest loosen. </p><p>He fought with the urge to pull Rufus indoors, irrational fears filling his mind - <em>he could freeze, he could catch a cold, <strong>it'll kill him</strong> - </em>before walking slowly towards the door.</p><p>Tseng was two steps from the doorway, eyes having dropped to the ground again, before he saw a gloved hand in his sight.</p><p>He took Rufus' hand, and was grounded once more, before Tseng's shoe crunched the snow, the first step - and his eyes suddenly shut like he'd been blinded. </p><p> </p><p>The ashy snow of the Northern Crater hadn't made any sound. </p><p>There had only been silence. </p><p>A place of old death. </p><p> </p><p>Then the sound of birds hit Tseng's ears, trees rustling softly - Rufus' icy breaths, and the slow, crunching sounds of snow under their feet. </p><p>Felt the hand holding his that little bit more tightly. </p><p>Tseng opened his eyes, and only saw Rufus, only white snow resting on his hair like a crown. </p><p>The reason why he went to the crater. </p><p>"Should've gotten you a hat." Tseng gasped out a laugh, suddenly feeling like he was breathing again for the first time. </p><p>Rufus could only smile in relief, feeling the painfully tight grip on his hands lessen. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This was a tad more angsty than I'd intended, with intentions that change and healing is slow. </p><p>Twitter: Thrasirshall.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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